Having a rough time

Last Friday was my final intervenous chemo treatment.  I’m not scheduled to start the injection phase until next week.  That will be 11 months worth of shots taken on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of each week. 

I’ve really been struggling to find any energy.  Forturnately food is staying down but I have about zero appetite.  Yesterday I had a banana for breakfast, a bagel for lunch and then about 1/2 a cup of rice for dinner (along with about 3 MnM’s from a friend in class).  I don’t feel any nausea, thank goodness, just not hungry. 

I really had higher hopes for this week.  I had hoped the energy would come flooding back and its just not the case.  The other issue right now is that the depression the doctors warned me about is starting to set in.  Not only do I barely have the energy to check the mail, my thought patterns are all jacked up.  I’m going to talk to Dr. Z. about everything on Tuesday.  How messed up is it that the only thing making me smile right now is the fact that it’s raining and that means I probably won’t have to deal with Trick or Treaters? Well, that AND Numa Numa Guy… he always makes me laugh.  (Go to youtube and search for Numa Numa Guy… he’s hilarious).


7 responses to “Having a rough time

  1. Hey Heather…chin up! Have they, your dr.s & nurses told you about Ensure…ask about it…it is definitely not as good as food but it’ll keep the nutrition going. Also where is your protein? I see a banana which gives you sugar, a bagel and rice with both give you carbs (which turn to sugar)…I know for me if i don’t throw some protein in there I start feeling “funny” and my mood (depression) just keeps coming!! One more thing I know you’re tired of the length of time recovery is taking, just remember it is only a season…kind of like winter. You think many days…it’ll never end and then always – it does!
    Now, about those trick or treaters! Sounds like a blessing to me – just think WHO’ll get all that candy that they won’t claim!! Hope you bought all your favorite kinds! One suggestion though…you might want to hide it from the cat or your next update may be “where did the cat put my candy”! :o)

  2. Remember too…we love you and are praying for you!!!

  3. LOL…Numa Numa Guy!!! LOL Now I can’t stop laughing!!! And that stupid tune is stuck in my head…the boys are going to wonder why mom suddenly…you know, starts waving her fists in the air while jumping around….hahahaLOL!

  4. OK my Hero……….I know how you feel about Ensure but tell me how do you really feel about a feeding tube.?????

    I can remember you always telling me that my body needs fuel to keep going????so where is your fuel??????? We’ve talked about this but I’m not finished yet.

    I think you need to start thinking about all that you are thankful for and enjoy the naps when you can take them. Thank goodness you don’t have to be somewhere on a schedule all day long. So, have I made my point?

    I love you more than you could ever imagine but I’m not going to allow you to get down on yourself at this stage of the game.

    Take a nap, eat protein (even if it’s in a shake) or I’m going come up there and shake you all by myself.

    Love and hugs…………..mom

  5. Hiya from a total stranger… (WW gal) who has been following your blog (thanks to your mom 😀 ).

    There is a website depressionisachoice.com that has some mind “excercises” that have really helped me and I pass it on to others. It has simple mind games you can play to chase the depression monsters away… simple things to help lift the fog of depression. Check out the website, you might find something that speaks to you and helps you through this??

    I just want you to know that I think you’re very gutsy and amazing… OH, and that I just discovered the Numa Numa guy yesterday and he made us laugh too.
    Hugs – Lenora

  6. Hey Heather,
    I was just thinking about you and read your blog. I just want you to know that I think it is AMAZING how you mannage to come to class with us all and I am glad you do! Even though you are low on energy and discouraged, you always make me laugh. I will pray that this week you can get some of that energy back. See you for another delightful class next Sat!

  7. Be patient, girl! Your body is doing a lot of work and it will take some time to get your energy back consistently. Just a reminder that acupuncture and chinese medicine can help a lot with the fatigue, appetite (which you need to get energy) and depression. Ideally you would go for acu/herbs 1x/wk. Wish we lived close..I would just come give you treatments.

    Hang in there!

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