Decision Time

As best I can tell, I have as much information as I can tolerate.  5 days ago I was so darn sure of how things would play out and now I’m just plain emotionally exhausted.  This has really been the first emotional roadblock for me.  I never imagined I would have so many doctors giving me so many different opinions about so many different treatments.  The only aspect of this that all of the doctors seem to agree on is that there is no way to know if I will respond to any of them.  There is no way to know if they will be helpful or not, there is no way to know if they will make me excruciating sick or not.  So many doctors, so few clear cut answers. 

Have the surgeries…don’t have the surgeries.  Have treatment first, don’t have treatment first.  What if I pick a treatment that isn’t effective enough?  What if I pick a treatment that is too toxic for my system?  The one difference I have found in the opinions of the doctors is it seems that the doctors who went to medical school on the east coast all share one opinion, and the doctors who have gone to medical school on the west coast seem to share another.  Dr. H. has done extensive research and says one thing… Dr. K. has also done extensive research and has opposing findings.

I’ve probably changed my mind 47 times.  The possibility of having to leave Idaho for treatment is becoming a probability.  I spent yesterday on the river and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Normally, I just enjoy the float and the scenery, yesterday I opted to enjoy every ounce of water!!! Each time I saw a little rapid I raced towards it.  Surfing after the little diversion in the I.K. seemed like a blast.  No one from the BRV had tried it before, so what the heck, right?  What a blast… I couldn’t quit grinning.   I flipped on my second try, but what a kick!!!  During the down time, I was able to do a lot of thinking and I’m somewhat sure of what my plan will be. 

I’ve got a few phone calls to make on Monday to get some final questions answered.  The answers to the questions may change my mind again, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Think happy thoughts….

I refuse not to continue to have fun.  For the last couple of months I’ve been working with the Boise River Volunteers.  In the beginning I was just having fun cleaning up the river and hopefully helping a few folks, now it’s become one of my favorite ways to relax and enjoy what I think is one of the best parts of this city.  It’s become completely therapeutic (that is… as long as I continue my non boat-flipping streak). 

 

Check out my UV rated SPF outfit !!!

 

 

Since I didn’t have any doctor’s appointments over the weekend, I thought I’d take some time to write about the organization. 

The BRV spends countless hours on the river each week during the summer.  Each Friday, Saturday, and Sunday a group of volunteers will meet at Ann Morrison Park, carpool up to Barber Park and the day begins.  We take hundreds of pounds of trash off the river each weekend.  Everything from simple cans and bottles to bicycles, picnic tables and crazy items no one would ever imagine.  Along with the trash removal, we’re also performing countless rescues, patching and pumping boats, and taking care of some of the dangerous landscaping. 

It’s always a full day (last night we didn’t get to our dinner destination until after 8pm) and always a good time.  I wanted to spend as much time as possible this weekend thinking about anything other than cancer and working with the BRV did the trick.  Here are a couple of links to the BRV website…..

http://www.uplandidaho.com/bio_cons/volunteers.wmv

 www.riverhelpers.com